Short Circuits

Top Twenty *Peter Kay Jokes

We find them funny, amusing, often true and certainly worth passing on:

1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2.  Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
3.  You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
4.  Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
5.  You never know where to look when eating a banana.
6. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
7.  Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
8.  Old ladies can eat more than you think.
9. You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
10.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
11.  If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
12. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a "use by" date?

*Peter Kay is an actor, comedian and writer from Bolton, Lancashire, England, where he is greatly liked and respected. He is known to be a keen observer of northern life in England.